Creative Spam Mail Subjects - Part 1

"Gain more brain!"

Good ideas to improve the situation - Part 11

101. Help a drowning fly
102. Build a staircase!
103. Solve a giant crossword puzzle!
104. Sell your trousers!
105. Study Turkish!
106. Bend your knees!
107. Blackmail a dictator of your choice!
108. Hug a hedgehog!
109. Go shopping!
110. Walk into an enchanted forest!

Don't.

Don't lie.
Don't cry.
Don't spy.
Don't fly.
Don't die.
Don't fry.
Don't sigh.
Goodbye.

Untold children's stories - Part 3

The black sheep of the family

"Baa, baa, black boy,
Do you gather wool?"
"Yes Sir, yes Sir,
Tons of jute sacks full."

"Some for the noble men
And some for the brave,
The only one that has to freeze
Is me - I'm just a slave."

Warning!

People on earth, I have to say:
Beware of the deadly cauliflower!
It comes at night and bites you to death,
takes away
your power
and breath.

Home improvement

"Please give me that wrench,"
said Mr. Allen to the monkey.

Rhyme me! - Part 4

Promise:
Produce a film about purple plankton, orange reptiles and a silver wolf.

Semi-helpful advice

"Dig, Ben, under the pig pen! You'll find a twig then."

Bovine Weariness

"There's nothing I can do but moo."

Hello, I'm Anne.

Can you buy a can?
Can you make a plan?
Can you meet Joanne?
Do you know Japan?

Can you use a fan?
Can you eat a flan?
Can you see a man?
Have you been to Cannes?

Can you lift a ban?
Can you heat a pan?
Can you drive a van?
Are you spick and span?

Territorial questions

"Could I borrow that borough

or

would you lend me that land?"

Another styled story

A mother said to her child,
"Your brother's gone real wild."
The other cheerfully smiled,
"Don't bother, keep youself mild!"

Good ideas to improve the situation - Part 10

91. Don't use the word!
92. Spell your surname!
93. Go for gold!
94. Take a picture of your toe!
95. Feed a noodle to your poodle!
96. Act like a camel!
97. Open your mouth!
98. Meet Jesus!
99. Copy your buttocks!
100. Melt some ice cream!